


Placidity

by blackcoffeeandteardrops



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Fluff, au i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 13:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10900317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackcoffeeandteardrops/pseuds/blackcoffeeandteardrops
Summary: Mother's Day 2017. Scully makes a visit to the beach where she said goodbye to her mother, only this time her son is with her.





	Placidity

When Mulder told her to take all the time she needed, Scully had simply nodded before stepping out of the car and walking down to the beach where they’d scattered Maggie’s ashes. She sat on the log bench, running her hands over the warped surface and taking a deep breath, inhaling the salty air. The water was fairly calm, so she stepped out of her shoes and rolled her pants up her calves, carefully stepping into the water, marveling at the way her feet slowly began to sink.

It wasn’t the first Mother’s Day without her mom, but the year before she’d been so wrapped up with work and adjusting to having a teenager in her home that she hadn’t even realized until Mulder came home with fresh flowers and ingredients to make dinner what day it was. They’d still been figuring things out, and maybe they always would be, but as the wind whipped her hair in her face, she wrapped her arms around her middle and imagined her mother by her side. She imagined the countless conversations they’d never get to have and things Maggie would never get to experience, most important of all the grandson she’d never get the chance to know.

The water was chilly, despite being late May, and so she stepped out from the water. She surveyed the area, almost surprised but grateful in a way that no one else seemed to be present. If Heaven were real, as she’d always been taught and as she’d always believed, then surely her mother was there. Still, there was an almost serene quality to the area, and she liked to imagine the times they could have had there.

Scully craned her neck, glancing in the direction of the lot, just barely making out the shape of their car in the distance. She knew they’d be waiting for her, knew that while Mulder had said to take her time there were more things left to do, but she wanted a few more minutes. She sat in the sand, scooping up a handful and watching as it settled into a heap at her feet. It wasn’t often that she got the chance to simply be still, to reflect on the past and allow herself to be quiet. For so long, the past had been like a purple bruise, present but aching anytime it was touched. It still hurt at times, leaving a bittersweet taste in her mouth anytime it was brought up, but she found that with time, she could breathe a little easier. A laugh bubbled up, and she thought of how that sounded like something her mother would say.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but she began to feel a prickle on the back of her neck, a telltale sign from all her years investigating that someone was close by and watching. Without turning around, she shook her head, blinking back tears that came on suddenly, and sighed. “I’m fine, Mulder. I just need a few more minutes,” she said, pulling her knees to her chest. She was met initially with silence, until she heard a cough and felt the solid weight of someone sitting beside her. She turned, surprised to be staring at a lanky, freckled teenager rather than his concerned father. “Hi,” she said, taking a deep breath and wiping at her face with the back of her hand. “Sorry, I know this part is kind of boring to you.”

William scooted closer to her side and shrugged. “We told you this morning that today was all about you. We’d do whatever you wanted to do today. Visiting some beach and letting you just chill for a bit is part of it, and that’s fine,” he said, mirroring her earlier actions by picking up some sand and letting it slowly sift through his fingers. “Am I allowed to ask why we came here?”

Scully nodded, figuring she’d have to answer sooner or later. “I’ve told you a little about my mom. You’ve seen the pictures, heard stories. This beach is where I scattered her ashes. It’s where I said goodbye,” she replied, watching as he nodded, absorbing the details. “I know I should’ve explained, maybe driven here by myself. It’s not exactly the most exciting place to be--”

“It doesn’t have to be,” William interrupted. “Do you want me to go?” he asked, readying himself to stand before feeling her hand grasp his arm.

“No, no. You can stay. If you want to,” she said, smiling sadly. She tilted her head, resting it on his shoulder for a moment as she watched the water lap against the shore. She laughed, pulling back and glancing briefly at the log behind them before focusing back on him. “The last time I was here, your father and I talked about you. We were saying goodbye to my mom, but...there were questions that I had. That we had. It’s funny, because that conversation feels like forever ago, and yet like it was yesterday,” she said, growing quiet as she recalled the way she’d curved into Mulder’s side, trusting him to again share the burden of her pain. William was a shared loss, turned gain as she felt the boy nudge her with his shoulder to again get her attention. “Hmm?”

“I was saying...what kind of questions?” he asked. He’d found a stick beside them and had begun tracing lines in the sand, digging deep before wiping them away.

Scully shrugged, not even sure of exactly where to begin. “We wanted to know what became of you. We wanted to know that you were safe, protected, and happy,” she said, darting her tongue out to moisten her parched lips. It was a sugarcoated version of the conversation she and Mulder had, but it was the truth all the same. She watched as he nodded, focusing on the shapes he was drawing on the ground rather than on her. It occurred to her that while he might appear happy, the day was possibly marred with a certain sadness for him, too. “Hey,” she said, brushing the hair away from his face. She waited until his blue eyes locked with her own before continuing to speak. “You miss her, don’t you?”

William furrowed his brow, confused for a moment at how he could be so easily read. He set the stick down, wiping the dirt from his hands, and sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

“And that’s okay. Missing someone you loved is perfectly normal,” Scully said, thinking now not just of the mother she had lost, but also of the woman who for years had loved William as her own. She’d been the one who got to teach him things like how to walk, how to read, and how to ride a bike. While the sadness of not being the one to do such things would probably always be there, Scully couldn’t help but feel glad that someone had been there to care for him and do such things.

It was what she’d hoped for when making the difficult decision to give him up. His sudden reemergence in her life to in part save Mulder’s had come at a price; she’d gotten to Wyoming too late to save his adoptive parents, and it was a fact she regretted at times. She worried that William might resent her, arriving in the dark of night, asking him to save the father he’d never gotten the chance to know. They’d struggled at first, figuring the murky waters of their relationship out, but after the weeks and months began passing, they were making up for lost time.

“That’s true, but hey,” William said, nudging her to bring her focus back to him. “Just because I miss her doesn’t mean I love you any less.”

Scully coughed, fighting the lump she felt growing in her throat. It’d been over a year, but such confessions still warmed her heart. She’d always wondered what it would be like, to raise him and get to know him, but finally having the opportunity to do so still felt new in so many ways. She didn’t want to ever grow tired of the way he tried cracking jokes which fell flat like Mulder’s, or of how excited he’d get when telling her something new he’d learned. Circumstances meant she got the chance to raise him in the twilight of his adolescence, but she didn’t want to miss any of the opportunities life gave her. “I love you, too, kid,” she said, smiling as she stood, shaking the sand from her clothes. She held her hand out, pulling him to stand up beside her. “Thank you.”

William frowned, curious. “What are you thanking me for?”

Scully shrugged, shaking her head, because in truth there was no way to describe to him just what she was feeling. “For being you?” she suggested, hoping he’d take it. She cocked her head, gesturing to the path they’d both walked down. Ahead, the clouds stirred, and she knew rain would be coming soon. “Come on, you must be hungry. Why don’t we go grab some burgers and fries at that new place that just opened up? I heard you talking the other day about how you wanted to try it. My treat.”

“He’s not gonna let you pay, not when it’s mother’s day,” William replied, standing near the log as she slipped on her shoes.

“Well, if your dad’s paying, maybe we can convince him we also need milkshakes,” she said, surprised at how light she felt considering the somber mood she’d been in upon arriving at the beach. She’d probably always feel a little sad when thinking of her mother, especially during certain times of the year, but as she grasped William’s shoulder for support while slipping the strap of her sandal over her foot, she knew she had so much more to be grateful for and look forward to.

“I’m thinking chocolate,” William said, smiling conspiratorially.

Scully laughed as they started walking back towards the lot. “I suppose considering the fact he ate nearly half the pie I made last week, I doubt we’ll have to talk him into it.”

“Probably not,” William replied, stopping suddenly. “Hey. You’re okay, right?”

Her heart warmed at the concern evident in his voice. He’d always been in tune with how she was feeling, a fact which unnerved her a little at first, but which she now found comforting. She glanced past him towards the shore, thinking of the last time she’d sat on that beach and how much had changed. It hadn’t always been easy, but as she turned her focus back to William, she nodded. No matter what had happened, she wouldn’t trade any of it. “I am,” she said, reaching out to smooth a wrinkle in his sleeve. “Come on. Let’s go.”


End file.
